Losing Grasp On A Friend

I have been very busy with work lately, and that is admittedly why I haven’t updating my blog in a long while. I guess there will be another blog post about me ranting on my projects soon, but this post is more about a situation I find myself in and am at a lost for ideas.

One of my closest girl friend, which happens to know that I am gay, recently found a new boyfriend, someone who I strongly disapprove of. We were really close in the past, with her being one of the only straight friends of mine that know I am gay. And no, if any of you were wondering, no she isn’t my fag hag, we’re just really really close friends.



The thing is that her boyfriend is one of those paranoid nutcases that deserves to be locked up in a padded asylum while wearing a straight jacket. He apparently is one of those domineering-type boyfriend that wants to spend every possible minute of the day with her. And that is just one of the many reasons why I dislike him, if i had to list them all down, we'll be here all day long.

Anyway, it turns out that now whenever she wants to meet any of her friends, me included, he has to be there. That to me is absolutely unacceptable, I mean c’mon… dude, cant you let your girlfriend meet her friends without you being there? This truly is a problem for me because I cant stand the sight of him mainly due to the fact that I just personally don’t like him as a person.

So I cant meet my friend at all lately because of this stupid situation. The irony is that we (both me and my girl friend) use to have a mutual friend that slowly cut us off because that mutual friend’s boyfriend was one of these control freaks as well. At that time the both of us felt that she shouldn’t let her boyfriend control her life like that, and we were both criticising her for getting into that predicament. Low and behold, exactly one year later, my friend finds herself in the exact same position. And you can imagine how hypocritical it is of her to say that she understands the situation and she just needs time to change him… get him to be less dominating.

Sigh…As if you can ever change a guy, I'm a guy... And I'm pretty sure you cant.


Signing out.

Queer Matrimony Talk

I went to another Queer event this week at uni, and this time it was a lunch time Queer themed discussion. I’ve got to admit I was a little late for the event, so like a misguided sheep, I stumbled into the discussion half way through as I was in a study group meeting just before. I’m not sure what the other participants were thinking when this Asian guy, who barely looks gay, waltzed in half way through the discussion… probably thought I was rude, but eh… what the hell, I don’t care.

The discussion this time was on same-sex marriage, and wow, this really was an eye opening discussion for me. I really didn’t know there were so many takes on this one issue, frankly speaking I was always under the impression that all Queers were for gay marriage… but apparently not.

Picture swiped from the Gay Times

For starters, there are gays that are totally for same-sex marriage, I for one am totally for it. I mean if the breeders have the right to a legally binding happy marriage, then I think we all deserve to have one too. I mean it’s only fair, isn’t it? By denying us the simple liberty of marrying our loved ones, the law is compromising on our rights as equal individuals, and that’s just unfair.

And then there are the what I would call rather ‘promiscuous’ gays, which really don’t care two hoots about gay marriage because they don’t see the need for one… my respond to them is they don’t need one for now… but if they don’t fight for the rights now, then when they find the ‘one’ to marry in the future, they’ll find that they do not have that option because they turned it down, by not caring.

Then apparently there are gays that are against same-sex marriagel… Their point of view sees gay marriage as homosexuals conforming to public ‘hetero’-homosexuality. Some Queers actually think that by wanting to get married, like the heteros, we’re somehow betraying the very essence that we are different from them, that we are Queer.



And some homo’s think that when some gays and lesbians want to fight for marriage rights, they’re turning their backs on their community, the Trans, the leather, the ‘man-boys’ group (no kidding, I just learned there is such a thing) and all the various other homosexuals that do not necessarily strictly fit into the gay or lesbian category. These people feel that pro-gay marriage advertisements and posters all only apply strictly to the vanilla gay or lesbian crowd, not everyone in the GLBT community, so if the gays and lesbians accept that, they are in fact betraying their very own wider community.

Well apparently for some societies, being gay means that you automatically inherit the whole GLBT society. Now… I’m not sure what I really think about this yet, guess I gotta sit on this one and decide again where I stand.

Signing out.

Queer Screening: Take One

Today I finally built up the courage to attend my very first uni’s Queer Department event. It was a fortnightly screening of a GLBT movie, and the movie aired this week was a French movie named Clara’s Summer. It’s basically a story about Clara’s (a teen lesbian) coming out when she went to summer camp.



The movie event was pretty interesting, although it clashed with another university union meeting, so most of the people that were there for the movie had to attend the meeting. As the queer officers of the previous term had to be there, and so did the queer officers running for the next term.

Well for the first part of the meeting I was actually the only Asian there, which was sort of weird, but nonetheless the people there were pretty interesting. And then about half an hour after I was there, the current queer officer came in, he was actually another Asian dude as well, which was cool, because it made me less self-conscious about being the only Asian there.

Contrary to what Evann believes, the people there were pretty friendly… Although I think there wasn’t much of an opportunity for me to mingle as a lot of people had to attend the other union meeting to support/vote for the new office candidate nominations…

Anyways, I think I will attend another of the meetings further in the future, but hurray for me acually getting the courage to attend this one in the first place. My very first Queer meeting in all the five years I’ve been in uni. Phew, that’s another tick off the list of things I need to do before graduating.

Sorry guys for the lack of updates, but I’ve been uber busy getting ready to come back to Aussie previously, then settling down again. I’m hoping to have more frequent updates in the near future. Cheerio

Signing out.