One Disapointment Leads To Another Appointment

The week is finally coming to an end, and Chinese New Year is just two days away :) Today I was suppose to meet up with some uni mates after having dinner with my mom and a family friend... but half way through my dinner I got a call from a friend cancelling the meeting. I was dissapointed cause they were my uni mates, and we haven't met up since leaving Melbourne last December... however, this setback paved way for me to meet up with some new friends.

I was originally invited by Evann to meet up with some of his friends for steamboat, obviously bloggers too... but unfortunately I had to turned down the invitation because I already had plans... now that my uni mates cancelled on me... I could join in on the little dinner :) or rather I joined in after they had their dinner... LoL... hopefully it wasn't too awkward that I just popped in :)

"So nice meeting you guys, Jerry, Anton and Bong..."

To everyone driving back to their kampung... drive SAFELY... and if your gonna fuck... fuck the same way :)

Happy Chinese New Year everyone.

Signing out.

The Naming of My Chariot

I can be rather sheepish sometimes... If others do something I feel is cool, I'd follow suit as well :) Recently I got to know a guy, he's really nice and we've sorta been exchanging messages a bit. Anyway, he named his car Damien, coz he said he thinks the name is hot and would really like to date a guy called Damien, lol I almost considered changing my name there and then :p just kidding.

Anyway I thought, whoa, that’s cool to name your car... So I decided to name my car as well. It is usually very normal for straight guys to give female names to their car and treat them like their de-facto 'other' wife. So I reckon its okay to name my car too, but obviously he'll be a guy... I sifted through a list of names... And decided that the one person a really want is the werewolfie from twilight. I fell in love with his character ever since reading the books, and after watching New Moon, the latest movie of the twilight saga, I was totally hooked. Let me put it this way, without the werewolfie in New Moon, I'd have given the movie a rating of 0.5/10 but with him in it... I give 9/10 :) Edward sux btw... (sorry Ed fans... But Jake is way hotter)





Anyway, because of that I was debating between naming him Jacob or Taylor... I finally decided on Jacob, coz I fell in love with the character even before I saw the ripped version of Taylor Lautner. So hence forth my lil grey chevy will be bestowed upon the great name of Jacob. His interior is brown by the way, and that totally suits the colour of Jacob's fur... Coz its brown in colour too.

Lil Jacob looks exactly like this...

Since we're on the topic of cars... Which for gay guys isn't very often, I thought I'd share with everyone something new I learned about cars this week. What happened was that I noticed in the open air car park where I park during my internship, lots of people put their wipers up when they park. And so I wondered to myself, why did they do that? In order to satisfy my curiosity, I asked my colleagues why people leave their wipers up when parked... And I got the weirdest answer... Lol. Some of them are of the opinion the the wind screen gets very hot during the day under the scorching Malaysian sun, so by lifting the wipers up, you are actually protecting the rubber piece at the bottom of the wiper. I'm not sure how true this is... But apparently a lot of Malaysians do that here, maybe I've been away for too long...



But haha now I've learned something new. However, I am a bit skeptical on whether this method really protects the wind screen wipers, or is it just a myth? *picks up the phone and dials 1800-myth-busters* lol. So, since I'm not sure how true this wiper fact is... I'm not going to use it on Jacob until I've fully validified its authenticity.

Signing out.

Happy New Year Shout Out

Lots of folks out there like to describe the passing of a year as a blink of an eye. Well, it certainly wasn't like that for me, it was a long year, filled with all kinds of emotion for me... Both the joyous and the gloomy ones. So now at the end of the end of 09 and the beginning of the beginning of 10, I'd like to reflect abit on what happened this year, and what sort of resolutions I should attempt to achieve for next year.

Firstly, alcohol was my downfall this year... I think I must have got overly drunk more times this year than the past few years combined. Thinking back, it surely is something to be ashamed of. One of the most significant distressing moment of my 09 was that in my drunken state, I accidently outed myself to a few friends. That caused more than a few problems for me, because obviously I'm pretty closeted... I tried to amend the situation by making the people I told not to out me, but it was slightly too late people started talking behind my back, and even started asking my housemate to scrutinise my every move to verify that I am gay.

That brought me to one of my happiest moment in 09, in an attempt to get the support of my housemate, and to ensure that he doesn't become a 'spy' for the people trying to find out about me, I outed myself to him. It was something I've been wanting to do for a long time now... And because of that circumstance, I decided there was no time like that moment, so I just pulled the trigger and came out to him (I was sober then, mind you). It was a most memorable moment of the year because he turned out to be okay with it, he is absolutely straight by the way... Lol I already know what some of you are thinking. So now at least I don't have to live a lie and pretend to be straight around my bestest bro.

I guess this year, I've started to make a lot of new gay friends, and my circle of gay friends have increased quite a bit, that is a happy thing for me, because I can be my gay self in front of gay friends... I don't have to put up a facade and pretend to be straight like when I'm around my straight friends. Its not that I don't like hanging around my straight buddies, coz I love and treasure them to shreds and would do anything for them, but sometimes its tiring hiding the real me from them all the time.



Anyway, knowing lots of people also means going out a lot more, and because of that my grades have suffered and took a plunge. I regret to say that this certainly is another thing I ain't proud of. My parents spend a fair bit on my education, and I really shouldn't repay them with bad results. That’s already 2 bitter sweet events of my year.

The final thing worth mentioning is that I've started to hit the gym more this year, this year I go at the very least once a week. I can feel that I'm a tad bit healthier, but certainly I have yet to lose my baby fat, haha yea I think of them as baby fat (despite my age) coz I'm hoping they will go away when I grow up (as in grow older), lol.



Anyway, my resolutions I hope to achieve are closely related to my downfalls of 09. Firstly I will try my best not to get overly drunk anymore... Drinking socially is fine, but I think I've learned that drinking is not only bad for your health, but when you're overly drunk... You might do silly things, like unnecessarily outing yourself. The next thing is that I wanna make sure I find the right balance between my social life and my study life. A balance meaning a lot more studies than social, because ultimately my profession is a student, so yea... Since its my last year of uni, its really time to put my head down and make the final year count.

Finally I also hope to be able to maintain a 3 times a week visit to the gym, and my goal isn't to build bulging muscles like them body builders, but my focus is to tone up, lose all my baby fat (yes, I've already decided thats what I'm calling them) and get fitter. I guess since I've made up my mind to pull up my grades... This also means there isn't going to be much time to hunt for a mate, so that is going to have to wait. I'm not saying if my other half shows up in front of me I'm not going to accept him - I will if the right one appears, its just that for now I wont actively be searching.

With that, I'd like to wrap up my last post of 09. I'd like to thank everyone reading Finding Relevance for taking a few moments every week to check out my blog, thanks for your support and comments :) lol, keep them coming. And finally I wish ya'll a very very Happy New Year, and may all of your New Year resolutions be fulfilled. Hugs.

Signing out.

Bending A Straight Twink

So last weekend I went out clubbing with my friends... I was firstly at Zouk, but then ended up at MarketPlace, lol. Mind you it was with two different groups of friends... The straight ones at zouk and obviously the gay ones at MP. Luckily I didn't have to pay to go into Zouk, because MP had a hefty charge of forty ringgit that night... I could really feel the pain when handing over the cash to the bouncer...

Usually mp members are allowed to bring one guest in for free, so I usually don't pay to go in. Anyway, that night mp had some guest dj from Sydney... So members weren't allowed to bring guests in, and I had to pay for my own entrance... :( the guest dj was very normal, he or she, played mostly latest hit songs as well as RnB hits. I generally think Malaysians (both gay and straight) are very easy to please. You just have to play us a lot of latest songs and RnB, and we will be very satisfied, and think that you're the best dj ever. Well obviously dj-ing is not just all about latest hits, but most of us are clueless about these things. So anyway, that dj was supposedly great, so that’s why I had to pay the expensive entry fee just to enter.

Not much happened that night, I really don’t know why I paid so much to get in. I like to dance, even though I cant dance for nuts... But that night the dance floor was soo packed, it was like sardines packed in a can trying to dance. If any of you ever take public transport, imagine trying to dance in the tram, train or bus during peak hours when everyone is crammed into one tiny compartment, if you can imagine that, then you are already picturing the mp dance floor that night. Not to mention everyone was sweaty from the heat (temperature) and the dance movements.




One interesting happened that night that really got me thinking... You see a friend's friend actually brought two straight guy friends with him to mp. Why he decided to bring them along - I don't know; but the more confounding question would be why did they agree to come? Even for me I was rather reluctant to pay forty ringgetoos to go in, but these two straight guys paid to come in? Wtf? Okay I really shouldn't complain because one of them was rather cute and I wished he was gay. This brings me to the main issue I want to talk about. The behavior of some of us that night (me included in thoughts), could be the very reason why straight guys dislike us.

You see a number of guys there were like, 'woah your straight friend is hot’ 'you're sure he is not gay?' 'watch me convert him'. The two of them also went to the over-crowded dance floor, and some guys were totally grinding in to them and trying to dirty dance with them... Assuming that they really were just two regular open minded straight guys that followed their gay friend to a gay club, the sort of behavior from many of the guys there that night might have scared them away from gays for good. I feel that we gave them an impression that almost all of us just wanted to get into their pants, and seriously... If I were straight, I would be terrified.

By trying to 'feel up' or attempting to 'convert' every open minded staright guy we meet, we're just painting them the image that we are sex hungry creatures that cant keep it in our pants. And that is the very image we don’t want the general population to have, cause that will only breed misunderstanding and fear of gays into their minds, I recall a wise man once said, fear leads to anger, anger leads to hatred, and hatred only leads to suffering. So these gay fearing straight folks will only turn into homophobic bigots and that leads to our suffering.



So maybe next time we see an open minded straight guy hanging out with a bunch of gay guys, we wouldn't be in such haste to try and convert him, because that might give us a bad image. Of course I am assuming both the straight guys there that night really are straight and just very open minded, some may argue that they could be curious, bi or even closeted, but lets give them the benefit of the doubt. So remember to think twice about trying to seduce or convert a straight guy, because if he really was straight, then these sort of actions would make him scared of us, and he wont be so open minded anymore; but then again if he was really curious, bi or closeted, then it would be a wasted opportunity not to do so, lol!

Signing out.

Of Outings and Punk Asses

Its been exam season lately, so that’s why I haven’t been posting anything new here on my board. Well Saturday night was a friend’s birthday, and he was one of the first few gay friends I knew… so I totally felt obligated to attend his birthday outing despite it being the middle of exams. Well, I think after all that revision, and the occasional slacking, I deserve a short break and a night to let loose.

So the birthday plan was to have dinner at this fancy restaurant on Chapel Street, then head down to one of the gay bars that had a drag show, so that the birthday boy can be dragged up the stage :) and after that, we would all hit Commercial Road, where the Melbourne gay scene is.

Well needless to say that since it was a birthday, there was quite a turn out for the event… there was an entourage of 13 people around the birthday boy. Well if a crowd is that big, there is bound to be people you like and people you hate, right? And yup, there was someone there that night that I really disliked. And I think it was the fact that he was around that I couldn’t have a proper good time. With him around, I cant totally relax and have to put up a shield around me so that his hurtful comments wouldn’t get to me. Its not only tiring, but annoying at the same time. Gosh I wish there was a button you could push and a hole would open up in the sky and sucked all these punk asses in.

Anyway as we were hitting all the gay bars and clubs last night, there were a lot of hot and cute guys around, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel attracted to them hot ones. But… I know the limit of my own attractiveness and if I only go for the big fishes, the beautiful ones, this lil bear may never end up eating anything. So, yea I do go for the averagely cute ones as well, just because I know my own capabilities and don’t wanna bite more than I can chew.

Biting more than I can chew :P

But you see, with Mr punk ass around… I feel obligated to only approach all the super hot and super cute guys, because I don’t want to hear him say things like, “is that all you can do Luke?” so all night I tried to hook them big fishies… but failed miserably. Sigh… I should have just been myself and went for the ones that I can hook…. Right? But no… I didn’t wanna look weak and like a loser in front of punk ass… so I had to put up an act.

Gosh… it was so annoying having him around. Its like having to pretend to be straight around my straight friends, just that I’m pretending to be a gay ‘A-lister’ when I most certainly barely made B-list… Sigh… maybe next time I should just tell my friends that if they want punk ass to tag along with them… don’t invite me. But then again, what kind of a person would I be if I made my friends choose like that. Sigh.

What oh what can I do? I guess I could just pretend that he isn’t there and be myself even with him around. Although the last thing I want is appear to be weak around him. Because he isn’t like a real friend that would take sympathy on your sad stories, he is like a savage lion that pounces and attacks anything weak. Grrrh…. I hate people like that.



I don’t know, I guess yea I can pretend he isn’t there and just be myself, or… I can hire a hit man and take him out… put the world out of its misery (of him) once and for all… WAhahahaha!

Signing out.

Twee Vaders

Woah, the weather in Melbourne has been unbearable lately. The day before it reached a top of 34 degrees Celsius… and I don’t have air-conditioning in my old apartment building. Sigh, how sad.

Well the one good thing about the weather is that people are now wearing less and less :) Lots of guys are just wearing shorts and singlets on the street. Great eye candy :P



Well, today’s post is on a heart touching video that captured my heart, quite a while back. I just recently watched it again and it melted my heart again. All I can say is that after watching that video, if I ever grow up to be a father… I would certainly hope that my child would be as proud of me and his other dad like that kid in the video.



I wonder if this day would ever come for Malaysia, whereby a kid can sing about his/her two dads or moms… By the way if you guys were wondering, the video was from Holland.

Getting A DNA test

With exams just round the corner, I decided to de-stress myself a little… so I went out and bought my very first gay magazine – DNA. It is Aussie’s best selling gay magazine for gay people :)



Well, I must commend myself for my bravery in actually purchasing the gay magazine, as you can see on the cover of the mag… there is a very hot guy there, and I think a picture is worth a thousand words, that cover really screams “Gay Mag!” I was a bit embarrassed when paying for it, luckily it was a lady… and she even asked me if I needed anything else… haha a pack of condoms please? LoL

Here’s a few more snap shots of the magazine I took with my trusty hand phone.






Signing out.

Im Still Relevent

Hey, just thought I'd drop in a post to validate the fact that I'm still relevent and here :P I've been tied down with assignments lately... and its seriously annoying. I had 2 major assignments due last Friday and another 2 due this Thursday. The 2 this Thursday is even more annoying, because they require me to use engineering simulation packages, which are only available in the engineering computer labs... hence I've been camping at the labs till late at night everyday.

The camping is bad... I've been eating irregularly because of the work. Ate at 9.30 Sunday nite and about 10 on monday nite... horrible I know, but I have no choice. I have to complete both assignments by Thursday.

Oh... And did I mention that I freaking hate engineering simulation packages... because they are so freaking unstable and frequently crash ,partly due to shitty computers at certain com labs, which incidently are the only once that are always available... the labs with good comps are always full, as its assignment period for everyone. Apart from the constant crashing, the simulation packages need to be accurately specified, otherwise it wouldn't do what you want it to do. And I thought computer were smart... Bleh if the program annoys me too much... I wont have anymore mercy for it.



On a lighter note, there are a lot of cute engineering guys in the comp labs. Of course they are also camping there to completer their assignments. Hmm... I must say tho, not all students doing engineering are nerdy... some of them are really quite muscly and hot. Of course I'm also pretty into nerdy studious types... so whenever I get too sick of the computer simulation package... I start looking around :P

Signing out.

I Am... Yours

So last night I did one of the most fun things ever, I went to Beyonce's concert!!! Thats one 'Things to do before I die' to mark off :) It was funny though, since it was Beyonce... naturally lots of gay people where there... cause we totally luv her! I bought my tickets really early, sometime in April this year and I got the standing tickets, so I was literally 5 metres away from Beyonce the whole nite. Standing next to me was this rather cute looking gay guy, but he was annoying because he kept trying to push in closer to the stage.



Well, the night started off with Jessica Mauboy and Flo-rida opening the show for Beyonce, and they were both great... Tho certainly not as great as Beyonce herself. As I mentioned, I had the standing tickets, which were the closest available to the stage, and there were a lot of pushing going on, because all the late comers wanted to push in and get closer to the stage. That was pretty annoying, and I literally was squished by them trying to push in. >.< At first being a gentlemen, I didn't want to push back, but after almost 15 minures of pushing... between Flo-rida's opening act and Beyonce's opener, bye bye mister nice guy... I freaking started to push back. Anyway, despite all the pushers, the moment Beyonce came out, everyone were entranced by her and the pushing finally stopped. She just had sooo much energy and soo much 'Umpph'!!! It was trully a pleasure watching her perform life. She performed all her chart toppers new and old, some even going as far back as the Destiny Child's era :) it was really really amazing.




The performance throughout the night was spectacular, but Beyonce shocked everyone by dedicating Halo to the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson, and that for me was the icing on the cake upon a great performance. Me being a big fan of Michael Jackson and Beyonce was brought literally to tears by that act.

The photos taken were from my handphone, so they were mostly quite blur. However the performance was so great that its permenantly etched in my memory and I don't really need photos at all. All I can say is that thank you Beyonce for the great time you gave me, I really really enjoyed myself!





Beyonce I luv you!!! Signing out.

Finding Relevance

So... I have finally decided to start my very own blog. Firstly I wanted to start this blog partly because of the last episode of Gossip Girl, whereby Serena (one of the characters) was accused of being irrelevant. Let me say that... no, let me shout out loudly that I refuse to be irrelevant, and therefore have started out this blog, which is a collection of my personal thoughts that would hopefully make me a little more relevant in this big big lump of dirt we call Earth.

I'm a young offsping, with jet black hair and an even darker pair of eyes to match that. Born on a mid-summer night on the chance encounter of two food enthusiasts that crossed paths... Arguably that might partially be the explaination to my uncanily my huge appetite for new tastes and flavours that have brought me so very far away from the very land I call home. Now armed with an internet connection and a pen, which hopefully doesn't run out of ink anytime soon, I am ready to storm the dark and gloomy castle of Parkville, in search of the elusive piece of paper sooo highly coveted by the dark forces known only as The Employer, by many out there.

With that said, I would like to welcome you to my blog and thankyou for reading my very first posting. If you have a good imagination, I want you to imagine me at a ribbon cutting ceremony officially opening my blog (make sure the ribbon is rainbow in colour), and if you can't picture me be because you don't know how I look like, just think of my substitute image as Josh Harnett, only much hotter :P

Signing out.