Are You Sure You Don't Wanna Hang That Up?

It is very usual for us Chinese to decorate the house and the work place with Chinese New Year Decorations for this Lunar New Year period. Most of the decorations are commonly red or gold in colour to symbolise prosperity and luck. Some decorations also come with Chinese characters on it, usually written in beautiful Chinese Caligraphy.

Some usual decorations you see year in year out are the ones below :



As almost everyone knows, Chinese folks have 12 zodiacs as well, just like our western counterparts... The difference is that our zodiacs is based on 12 different animals... In the coming new year, it would be the year of the Magnificent Tiger... which is also the year in which I was born with... for those of you who can count, don't bother doing the math... I'm born in the year of the tiger, but really just turned 23 this year... go figure. I am strictly not 24 yet... so don't even suggest it.

Anyway, since I'm born in the year of the tiger my mom has gone overboard with the Chinese New Year decorations this year. She bought quite a bit decorations in the shape of tigers... one of the ones is the pair below...


Its a picture of a male and a female tiger holding auspicious items with the word "Fook" on it... Fook ! not Fuck... don't get it wrong. Fook naturally means luck, and Chinese folks totally adore this word... Fuck on the other hand isn't really an auspicious word... not unless you are really horny. Well these two decorations are supposed to be hunged up side by side, usually to each side of a door, so that it symbolises an auspicious greeting into which ever door you are walking through. Well... it is nice... but I would much rather have hung up something like this...


Yupz two male tigers side by side instead of a male and a female :) Can you guess which is the top and which is the bottom? ahahha... Let me tell you the simple answer to that, they are both versatile! I wonder if any houses I visit this year would have any homo-themed Chinese New Year Decorations... Highly unlikely... but maybe

Happy shopping for Chinese New Year my chinese friends... and to all the others... just enjoy the sales that come during this festive season and shop as well :) Just two more weeks before Chinese New Year!!!

Signing out.

Half Your Age Plus Seven

Today I went out to have dinner with Takeshi and Evann, both which I consider friends that also happen to be bloggers :) remember not blogger friends, but friends which happen to be bloggers… or as Takeshi so insistently says GAY bloggers. Anyway, dinner was at the Curve, sorta to kick start Takeshi’s big week. Woohoo… Another of our friend Julien also came for the dinner, he isn’t a blogger… but… maybe with some convincing he’ll start one soon :P

Well, there came a topic of how young a guy will you date, hence the title. Half your age plus seven, we sorta came up with a winning formula (mostly inspired by Evann though) that should dictate if the guy you are dating will be suitable for you. Okay let’s see how it works... I recently turned twenty-three, so half my age plus seven would be eighteen-and-a-half. Well… to be honest, I don’t really think this is a winning formula… its not gonna win any noble prizes in my world…

Okay but then again I guess I’m a lil bias, coz I recently had a crush on a seventeen year old. Let me repeat that’s a CRUSH, which is totally different from liking, and even further away from falling in love with. So yea, it was only a crush and I’m over it now. But then again, Taylor Lautner is only seventeen right? So I guess I still have a crush on a seventeen year old :) Omg, he is soo freaking hawt!!!

Anyway I can already hear all the judging in the background… I can even hear some of you shouting “pedo! pedo!”, so before you judge me, I’m no pedophile… the legal sexual consent age in Malaysia is 16… I checked (according to Wiki) and besides, it was just a crush, simple as that, nothing more. And he doesn’t at all act like he is seventeen.

These boys are obviously above seventeen... but they look younger or around there...

So anyway, according to Half your ages plus seven (HYAPS), I should not even think about dating this seventeen year old until he is twenty. That’s three years from now, meaning I would be twenty-six, so half of that plus seven is twenty… exactly his age. Err… so… is he like a fruit or something? He won’t be ripe for me till he is twenty… but he will be ripe for someone twenty (HYAPS = seventeen) Wait a minute this doesn’t make sense… So if I can date him in three years time, and since seventeen is already over the age of consent, why cant I date him now?

Another thing that possibly breaks this formula is… the rule of compatibility. Okay let’s see, I’m compatible with a twenty year old guy, since he is older than my HYAPS of eighteen-and-a-half, but I’m in-compatible with the seventeen year old. However the seventeen year old will be compatible with the twenty years old because the twenty year old’s HYAPS is seventeen. So… I bet you see where this is going. If I’m compatible with the twenty year old, I should also be compatible with the seventeen year old right? Maybe… but then again… a straight guy can hook up with a straight girl… and the straight girl can hook up with another straight guy… but the two guys cant hook up with each other… not unless they are batting for our team :)



Haha, anyway, its up to you guys to judge if it’s a winning formula for you… any of you guys who have violated the HYAPS rule and dated guys younger than you? Did it work out? Did it last long? I wouldn’t know the answer to that question, coz I didn’t officially date a guy below my HYAPS age.

Signing out.

Ready For Combat

Previously I wrote posts on me joining LesMills' group fitness classes... and today I joined another new class for the very first time! If you recall from my post on BodyStep... I had a very bad experience due to the 'not-so-good' instructor. Not one to give up (or rather not wanting to admit that I'm bad at choreographed exercise) I decided to try another highly choreographed group fitness... and that's BodyCombat.

BodyCombat! "AIYA!!!!" <--- kicking sound effect

Woohoo! The instructor this time was great, he actually showed the important moves quite well before the moves had to be executed, so I caught on pretty well. And I'm real pleased with myself for completing the class without looking like a complete idiot, unlike BodyStep, in which I looked like a lost goat.

This dude here is gonna be me soon... I hope... maybe...

I give a thumbs up to the instructor that did the class (insert thumbs up photo), and wish that the world would have more instructors like him so that the world would be a better place! Oh, and despite it being a combat and "supposedly brutal" group fitness session, there were way more gals than guys in the class... I was one of the only three guys in the whole class... and one of the other two was the instructor. Lol. And whoa... trust me, you don't wanna mess with some of the gals there... they can really pack a punch.

Signing out.

Alien Invasion

I should be called Ludicrous Lucas... Usually the only time I listen to the radio is when I'm driving. So today when I was driving around, as usual i turned on and listened to the radio... something shocked me... All the radio channels were playing this slow-jazzy type of tune... there weren't any advertisements and no DJs talking...

The first thing that came to my mind was that we were being invaded by aliens... and they are playing this sort of a hypnotic melody to mind control the whole of mankind. Being the curious me, I obviously continued to listen to the radio to see if I start getting mind controlled... although in reality if I was under a mind control hypnosis, I wouldn't know it... would I?



Anyway, I definetely continued to listen to that slow hypnotic jazzy type music, when suddenly there was an announcement on radio. I was expecting something like, " Human race, do not panic, we come in peace, all we want to do is to control all of you!"

But none of that happened. Apparently the sultan of Johor passed away, and so none of the radio stations could play any lively music... So basically thats the whole story, no alien invasion at all. Sigh... and I was getting excited. Anyway RIP your majesty.

Signing out.

Avatar, My First Movie of 2010

Its no wonder they won two Golden Globe awards!!! I just watched Avatar... I know, I know... soo late right? but yea, its the first movie I've watched since coming back to Malaysia... And its fucking awesome! There's soo much in the film... music, plot, hot blue dudes (butt naked), themes... whoa, its really great.

I particularly liked the theme, I'm stating the obvious here... but the Yankees invading the middle east for oil... If you invade people with lower technology and just pulverize them... they are going to fight back... and if they dont have mother nature to help them out in the war... they will resort to anything just to get back at the people that disrupted their home land... and that most certainly includes suicide bombings. Exactly the same thing as in Avatar... the sky people think they can come... teach English... liberate the Na'vis... and then take their resources??? get a life... nobody is gonna just sit back and take it up the ass... (except of coz Malaysians in the case of the g*v screwing everyone up, and maybe gays, lol )

Luv Jake when he was BNB (butt naked blue), he looked okayish in human form, but in his Na'vi form, WHOA! hawt! somehow I saw him as a very cute and slim twink... hahaha... totally awesome. Minus the tail and the weird nose... I think I can picture me doing him :P hey... they're humans too... with feelings, so it wouldn't be bestiality, so don't even suggest that. Lets just say multiculturally, I'm very accepting :)



I also luved how he got his first lil birdie...When he went up to the high cliffs and looked for a bird (Ikrans) to wrestle Hahaha, its abit like in a gay bar ain't it? you walk around... then dance a lil with the person that stares back... and like the lady-Na'vi said... its the first 'ride' that counts... makes a difference if he is ever going to call back... hahaha! I sound like an expert, but I swear I'm not like that, I got all of that from watching Queer As Folk :)

Only thing was that there was this couple sitting next to me talking and commenting on the movie none stop since the beginning. They were making stupid comments like,
"he is gonna fall in luv with her, sure one"
"whoa, its so high, if he falls he will die"
"whoa those are dogs, those are horses, those are flying birds"
I was like wth... I tried to clear my throat while they were talking... it didn't help. I turned to my friend and commented very loudly, "WHY DO PEOPLE COME TO CINEMAS AND MAKE COMMENTS ABOUT EVERY LIL DETAIL?". Even that didn't help. And... I even did the universally understood sound for shut the fuck up... I went "SHOOOOOSH!". But guess what, that didn't penetrate their thick bloody skulls... Finally I had to stand up and say, "Excuse me, but I'm trying to watch the show". Phew... luckily they got the message after that, otherwise my movie would have been a disaster.

All in all, Avatar was a great movie for me.

Signing out.

The Naming of My Chariot

I can be rather sheepish sometimes... If others do something I feel is cool, I'd follow suit as well :) Recently I got to know a guy, he's really nice and we've sorta been exchanging messages a bit. Anyway, he named his car Damien, coz he said he thinks the name is hot and would really like to date a guy called Damien, lol I almost considered changing my name there and then :p just kidding.

Anyway I thought, whoa, that’s cool to name your car... So I decided to name my car as well. It is usually very normal for straight guys to give female names to their car and treat them like their de-facto 'other' wife. So I reckon its okay to name my car too, but obviously he'll be a guy... I sifted through a list of names... And decided that the one person a really want is the werewolfie from twilight. I fell in love with his character ever since reading the books, and after watching New Moon, the latest movie of the twilight saga, I was totally hooked. Let me put it this way, without the werewolfie in New Moon, I'd have given the movie a rating of 0.5/10 but with him in it... I give 9/10 :) Edward sux btw... (sorry Ed fans... But Jake is way hotter)





Anyway, because of that I was debating between naming him Jacob or Taylor... I finally decided on Jacob, coz I fell in love with the character even before I saw the ripped version of Taylor Lautner. So hence forth my lil grey chevy will be bestowed upon the great name of Jacob. His interior is brown by the way, and that totally suits the colour of Jacob's fur... Coz its brown in colour too.

Lil Jacob looks exactly like this...

Since we're on the topic of cars... Which for gay guys isn't very often, I thought I'd share with everyone something new I learned about cars this week. What happened was that I noticed in the open air car park where I park during my internship, lots of people put their wipers up when they park. And so I wondered to myself, why did they do that? In order to satisfy my curiosity, I asked my colleagues why people leave their wipers up when parked... And I got the weirdest answer... Lol. Some of them are of the opinion the the wind screen gets very hot during the day under the scorching Malaysian sun, so by lifting the wipers up, you are actually protecting the rubber piece at the bottom of the wiper. I'm not sure how true this is... But apparently a lot of Malaysians do that here, maybe I've been away for too long...



But haha now I've learned something new. However, I am a bit skeptical on whether this method really protects the wind screen wipers, or is it just a myth? *picks up the phone and dials 1800-myth-busters* lol. So, since I'm not sure how true this wiper fact is... I'm not going to use it on Jacob until I've fully validified its authenticity.

Signing out.

Step Up Step Down

Today I went for my very first BodyStep class, another one of the group fitness sessions by LesMills… and boy was I bad at it. It all started with me arriving early at the gym, and since the BodyStep class was about to begin, I thought to myself why not try it out. So I entered the exercise studio about 5 minutes before the class began. The group instructor was actually chatting to some of the other participants in the class before the class began, and right away I could tell that he was most probably gay, and quite open about it. (for his tone and body actions)

You see, he was gossiping with the other participants about some other women, in which he thinks she went for lipo suction… whereas the participants thought that she got her six pack from all the group fitness classes. My first impression was that he as an instructor shouldn’t be gossiping about others and speculating whether or not they went for lipo suction, because to me it doesn’t seem ethical for a fitness instructor to make that sort of comment.

After he finished his gossiping the Step class started, and the exercise class was basically a choreographed class that involves stepping up and down a piece of plastic exercise step. Well personally I felt he was a terrible instructor, because knowing that me and another girl was new to the class, he went straight into the choreographed dance steps without giving us any idea of what the moves should be like before the music started.



To me that made him a terrible instructor, you see in my other classes… especially BodyPump, the instructor usually showed the important movements in the song track that will be played before hand, this is so that the class can at least get the gist of the required actions and movement to make during the song track. This guy… he didn’t care… knowing that there are two beginners in the class, he still went on with the class as usual without any extra explanation. He could very well have given me a quick simple basic idea before the class started instead of gossiping… but no… he much rather chat with his ‘regular’ participants on whether or not someone got her six pack through lipo suction.

So basically I’m ranting coz I made a fool out of myself in Step class. I couldn’t even add in the hand movements as I was mostly busy looking at everyone’s feet trying to understand what the next set of choreographed movements would be… I was a total newbie in Step and I wasn’t given the help I needed. He didn’t even come up to me after class and ask how was my first Step class… so to me, he didn’t fully fulfil his role as a fitness instructor. Immediately after class, he went back to chit chatting with his 3 ‘regular’ Step class participants (they seem to know each other very well).

Kid: "I HATE STEP!!!"

I could practically read what was on his mind, I bet he is thinking that I wouldn’t turn up for Step class next week anyway… so that’s why he didn’t wanna waste his time going through and teaching me the moves. Well, probably the only reason I wouldn’t go back to Step class is because I got such a bad impression of the first session. It’s a bit like having a bad math teacher in primary school… because of one bad teacher, the student may very well hate maths for the rest of his or her life… and the same can be said with me and my Step class.

Signing out.

The Place Where Its Queer To Be Straight

Hmm... People always ask me why do I even bother going to gay clubs when I never get any numbers or pick anyone up? Well for starters its not that I don't wanna pick anyone up, its just that nobody wants to be picked up by me... But, that’s another rant for another time. So why issit then do I go to clubs? Well there are a number of reasons I do... For starters I like to drink, I ain't alcoholic, but I kinda like the feeling when you're a lil high (not drunk! Just a lil high... Like after your second glass :) ), it makes you more relaxed. So that’s one reason, coz when you're out at a club with friends, that’s when you start drinking a little.

Okay... Okay... I can already hear the counter argument from some of you guys... Why not drink at home? Where the drinks are cheaper, and you don't have to pay a cover charge to go in? Or why not drink at a regular bar, where by the drinks are less watered down... And cheaper than in clubs... Yea huh? Why not....?

Okay well, another reason I like going to clubs is because I love to loosen up on the dance floor. I totally admit that I can't dance for nuts... But that shouldn't stop me from doing something I like to do right? I mean... Its not like people on the dark dance floor are going to remember me the next day when they see me on the streets anyway. So yea, dancing is one of the reasons I like to go to clubs. If anyone wants to give me some free dance tips, you're more than welcomed. I remember gaining some valuable dance tips from Jerry last year in one of his blog posts :)



So okay that’s already two pretty good reasons why I like to go to clubs. The final reason I like to go gay clubbing is because I'm gay! Okay, hear out my explanation before you roll your eyes. I feel normal, comfortable and at ease when I'm at a gay club... Because its the only place I know where its normal to be gay, and queer to be straight. Everywhere else is straight territory, a gay club is the only place I don't have to put up any walls and act straight... Although I have to admit that I'm pretty straight acting... Even in gay clubs... But that’s not the point, the point is that I get to be around my own kind of people at a gay club... and that kinda puts me at ease. I think this is more so the case in Malaysia... Where everywhere else is straight, and you could be imprisoned if you were a certain race and your cock was caught in the wrong place where the sun doesn't shine. The thought alone is scary. If they can do it to the second most powerful man in the country, then nobody is safe at night.

So yea... That is the main reason I like to go to gay clubs, because I can be around my own kind of people. The theory is pretty much the same as why every town has a china town and all the chinese people gather there... And its the same as why Bangsar is over populated with caucasian expatriates... Because its normal for people to want to be around their own folks. Sometimes when I go out clubbing, I don't even bother dressing up or doing my hair... And I know it and can feel it when people in the club give the the look that screams, 'dude you look like crap and shouldn't be in here!' But you know what, sometimes I just don’t care, because for now, I'm happy and at ease being around my own crowd... And no glare or stare is gonna stop me from going into clubs under-dressed with a messed up undone hairdo.

Yup, going to clubs for me is fun and relaxing... Even if I don't pick up, I know I'll still enjoy myself drinking, dancing and hanging around my gay friends at a gay venue being gay :) All that aside, I'm not saying that I won't pick up at clubs, if someone does take an interest in me and make the first move to say hi (coz I can be shy at times) then I'd certainly say hi back :) Hahaha. Last weekend I went clubbing with an old friend, shout out to Evann!, and he introduced me to alot of his other BFs... Which totally stands for blogger friends and not boy friends, lol. Which was cool :) they were all really nice. We were sorta a lil late getting to the club, thanks to a detour- which was worth it, and also getting a lil lost in the one way maze that is KL. Lol. But none the less, we were at the club with time to spare, and had a great time.


Signing out.

Group Session

As mentioned before I've joined a gym when I came back to Malaysia for my summer holidays. So since the group fitness sessions are free and already part of the gym membership, I thought to myself... 'what the hell, I should try out some of these classes.' After all I wouldn't pass off a chance to try something free. So off I went to my first group fitness class called RPM. I should give you a bit of background knowledge on these group fitness classes, firstly they are called Les Mills classes... Les Mills is the brand name of the company that developed all these group fitness sessions, and obviously its named after a dude named Les Mills. Les if I'm not mistaken is some medal winning athlete from New Zealand, and these sessions were produced by him.

Anyway, there are a few types of classes, and to my knowledge... They are bodypump, bodyjam, bodyattack, bodybalance, bodystep, bodycombat and RPM. The classes are structured according to loud music beating in the backgroud, so the music coupled with the instructor shouting his or her lungs out is supposed to be motivational to its participants. So as I was saying, the first of the fitness class I attended was RPM, and that’s a group cycling class. I'm not entirely sure why its called RPM, but I’m guessing it stands for rounds/revs per minute, which is a bike riding measurement of how fast you're cycling. Well anyway, the class was pretty good and the instructor was a lady... so I guess there wasn’t much eye candy for me.



But whoa, the work out was very intense... In a mere 50 minute cycling workout, I must have sweated at least a small glass full of sweat. At the end of the session I was absolutely drenched in sweat and very tired. But none the less, I felt it was a really good workout. Since that first RPM class, I've been to a few more... And they really did give me a great workout. On a side note, the other few RPM classes I attended were with guy instructors, in tight lycra bike outfits :]

The next group fitness class I tried out was bodypump... And just the other day was my first class... Most of my muscles are still aching from that classes, I reckon they are taking so long to recover because they aren't muscle groups that I usually train, and the class really left me with real sore muscles. Anyway, pump is a class whereby you exercise to the music with a weighted bar. The difficulty isn't in the weight, but more of the high reps that is involved in pump. The same action is repeated over and over again at different speed according to the beat of the music, and if my fitness knowledge doesn't fail me, high repetition exercise is great for muscle toning, where as heavy weight low reps are good for building bulk. Since toning is my main fitness goal (It isn't like I don't already have enough bulk) I felt that pump is something I'm very likely to do again.




Anyway, the class was a bit embarrassing for me, because some of the girls there were carrying much more weight than me. I started the warm up with three and a half kilos each side... and then moved up to five kilos each side for two song tracks. Then embarrassingly I had to move my weights back down to three and a half kilos for the remaining of the session... I felt kinda sissy, cause there was this girl that remained with five kilos throughout the session.

So that’s my group fitness experience so far, I have yet to try the other classes and not sure if I'll try them... Since the time slots are quite odd and don’t fit into my schedule... But I'll definitely continue to attend pump and RPM classes. Okay...

Time to come clean I guess, another reason i attend these classes is because I know a lot of my gay friends, both here in Malaysia and in Melbourne love to attend these classes. And I must say that after attending them for myself, my gaydar was tingling like mad, and I think its safe to say that most guys attending these fitness classes are gay. I'm not saying all are gay, just most :] some of my gay friends are a real sucker for these classes, and I even know a few that attend several a day. But I’m wondering if they are actually doing the classes right? Coz maybe they aren’t using enough weight or putting enough resistance when they are on the bike??? Cheers

Signing out.