Code Of Conduct

There has recently been a lot of talk about the US abolishing their ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy in their military and finally let gay and lesbian servicemen openly serve their country as gay and lesbians. There were even two servicemen who chained themselves to the fences of the white house as protest against the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy, they were Cpt. Jim Pietrangelo, Lt. Dan Choi. The seem to have the full support of many American GLBT groups, although there are now legal action taken against the two of them, and their court case is pending.

Lt. Dan Choi at the National Equality March

One of Obama’s promise is to ‘try’ and liberate the gays and lesbians in the military and allow them to serve openly, although he has yet to keep to his word… like a lot of other things he promised. (don’t get me started on that guy… how on earth he won the nobel peace prize eludes me)

Well, coincidently I just read a gay book on the US military. I was pretty proud of myself for buying this book, because it was an actual paperback edition of the book that I bought from Borders in Melbourne. It actually took me a lot of courage to walk to the GLBT section, picked a book, and actually paid for it at the counter. Big step for a small closeted gay :)

The book is entitled Code of Conduct. It’s a fiction about gay and lesbians serving in the US military during the Clinton era. That’s the pre ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ era, when gays and lesbians in the military had to serve in fear of people finding out about their sexuality. There were apparently ‘witch hunts’ for gays and lesbians serving in the military whereby if they were found out, they were dishonourably discharged and had their pensions removed… How sad right?

The story is pretty insightful into the lives of gay and lesbians military, how they live in fear of getting found out by their superiors... Kinda a little like how I’m currently afraid of how my parents or friends will find out about my sexuality. Haha, so at a certain level… I can sorta relate to the characters. Anyway it’s a great book and it’s a read I’d recommend any day.

One of my favourite part of the book was when the main character tried to explain why straight men serving in the military are afraid of gay people. It’s not because they are afraid that gay guys will look at them in the showers, rather it’s because they are afraid that they are so unattractive that even gay men don’t find them attractive and not look at them in the showers. He suggests that because in his opinion a lot of people joining the military have personality complexes or self esteem problems, that’s why they join the military to find themselves.

I personally think if a country stands for freedom and promotes freedom of speech... Then military personnel should be allowed to serve openly and freely express themselves. Although one might argue that in joining the military you sign away your freedom of thought to higher authority, because you only obey orders from higher authority and lead your subordinates… your not suppose to actually think? LoL

Signing out.

Monster Ball

I went to watch Lady Gaga perform live in Melbourne last night, and to say the least… her performance was extraordinarily awesome. The show opened with a band called ‘Semi Precious Weapons’, which were averagely average at best, although I’m positively sure the lead singer in that band was gay… and a very tall twinky one at that.

Anyway Lady Gaga may not have very good vocals, even I have to admit that, but as a performer, she is surely up there among the best. She played all her usual number ending with Bad Romance!

Rah ra ah ah ah ah! Roma roma mamaa!
Gag a ohh la la! Want your Bad Romance!

Lady Gaga certainly didn’t let down any of the audiences with her wild dressing sense and wacky antics. Among them were mechanically moving head dresses and spark spurting bras (like the one in the Poker Face MTV), as well as performing on an electric harp and a flaming piano. Once again, I just have to say her performance was mesmerising.

And of course, it being a Lady Gaga concert, it was very gay indeed. I’d put my money down that at least seventy percent of the guys there were gay… I mean, c’mon its Gaga going Gay Gay :) LoL

She even tributed the song Boys Boys Boys to all her gay fans, she opened that song by saying that she can always “Count on her most loyal fans… My Gay Boys!” And then all her cute hot dancers (in only shorts) came out to dance while she started singing. And wow… her male dancers were… hawt! LoL, I was definitely drooling over some of them.

Took some pictures with my phone… although it wasn’t very clear as the phone’s camera isn’t top notch.




And also a Video when she went to the island stage and did Poker Face.




All in all it was a very good concert and I’d most certainly recommend everyone to go watch it. And being such a trusty supporter of the GLBT community, I guess its only right that I supported her in return. Gaga!

Signing Out.

'Profiles' Eulogy

Previously I talked about becoming more engaged and focussed on my studies. So to actually prove to myself that I am indeed committed to that mind set, I’ve decided to remove all my current online profiles. That means I’m removing them from Gaydar, Fridae and Axcest. Although Axcest is a little but tricky, cant seem to delete the profile so I’ve just removed all personal information about me and made it a blank profile.

I originally have hoped that from these profile I would have been able to find my other half… since I never had an actual girlfriend in secondary school, I always had this fantasy that I would find a boyfriend in uni, and we could have lunch together in uni, study at the library together and attend uni events together. But alas, I think my fantasy would have to remain just that – a fantasy.

No uni sweetheart for me (in my mind a uni sweetheart is like a high school sweetheart), and since this is my final year in uni, that means that there is no chance of me ever finding my uni sweetheart. But that’s okay I guess, because at this point in life, I have to get my priorities right… especially since its my final year, my studies should most certainly come first, not love nor lust.

Some people claim that having a boy/girlfriend while studying can be very motivating and will help increase your grades in school; others say that being in a relationship while studying is like having a second job, and will surely pull your grades down. I suppose now I would never know the answer to that question.

Over the course of this year, if I do meet someone very chemically compatible with me, I wouldn’t say no to a relationship, but by removing my online profiles… the chances of me meeting more people is slim. And to be honest that’s okay for now, because as I said, I need to get my priorities right.

And right now, the right thing to do is to focus on enriching my mind with my studies, and not my penis… LoL. So bye bye profiles and GO GO STUDIES!

Signing out.

You Definetely Belong To Me!

So previously I made a post on my take of Taylor's 'You Belong With Me' and now I've found this youtube video on it. Not too sure if it was made before or after my previous post... but I surely didn't see this youtube before posting up my previous post. Well obviously someone other than me saw the song from my point of view :) great minds think alike I suppose... LoL

Enjoy.




Signing out.

Gradually Graduate

The weekend was a very life changing moment for me. The two things that was life changing were me attending my housemate’s graduation ceremony and me coming out to another of my close straight friends.

For someone like me who is ultimately very straight acting… coming out to a close friend is a very big issue and achievement. Actually I didn’t choose to tell her just yet, but because of certain event, she already stated guessing that I was gay. So rather than have her gossip with other people about my sexuality with other people to confirm her suspicions, I just came out to her ‘officially. I also asked her not to discuss this with anyone else anymore because at the end of the day, coming out should be my decision to make, and no one else.

There are some people in my life that are important to me, and if I feel that coming out to them would jeopardise my relationship with them… then for now I wont come out to them, I’d much rather (at this point in time) lie to them about my sexuality and stay as close friends, rather than come clean and lose them as friends all together. LoL, I know in some sense… its kinda masochistic to be painfully lying to myself.

Attending my housemate’s graduation was also life changing because he is actually doing the same course as I am, but because of certain circumstance, I graduate a year later. So at that ceremony, I not only say my housemate graduate, but also a lot of other former classmates of mine graduate. It was a very happy and positive event, especially with all the friends and family attending the event to support the graduates.



I realise in a years time this is what I really want for myself, and at my current state of educational mind, I’m not sure I can do it. I am a bit back in my studies… so after attending that graduation, I have decided that I am going to try much harder at my studies and achieve what so many of my friends have already done. GRADUATE!

Signing out.

Comparing Thee to Summer

Sonnet XVIII


Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed:
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

During my high school years… the Malaysian education ministry wanted to introduce literature to the students of Malaysia, and therefore students were forced to do literature as part of the Malay and English language subjects.

I wonder if a lot of thought was put into the selection of the literature for students… especially for English. Firstly abridged versions of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and also The Phantom of the Opera were some of the texts… In my opinion, having high school students read an abridged version is an insult to our intelligence. Either pick an easier text, or use the full ‘normal’ un-abridged version for high school students.

Something I would like to highlight is the study of Sonnet XVIII by William Shakespeare. Sometimes it makes me wonder if the folks up there really did any research before selecting this piece of text for the English literature syllabus… Yes true, Sonnet XVIII is arguably one of his most famous Sonnets… But it is also the very Sonnet that verifies to its audience that the Sonnet was written by Shakespeare for another man. Ahaha… does this mean the education ministry is okay with teaching homoerotic literature in high school? Woohoo score one for us!

Sonnet XVIII romantically describes the love of Shakespeare for another guy… as he compares his lover to a summer’s day. Does this make Shakespeare gay? I don’t know and cannot answer that. To me it doesn’t matter if he is gay… whatever he is, he still wrote great things. He was married and had three children… Nonetheless it would also be hard to deny that this particular Sonnet was written for another man, proving that Shakespeare might have some homoerotic tendencies…

Movie: Mulligans

I finally watched the film Mulligans. It’s a gay film made last year… and while I was watching a film called The New Twenty at the Melbourne Queer Film Festival, Mulligans was showing at the very same time. So I didn’t manage to watch it last year at the film festival, but finally this weekend, I got my hands on a copy of the movie and watched it. To describe the film in a single word… ‘Different’.

First of all let’s see, Mulligan actually means given a second chance at doing something. If any of you ever played Magic The Gathering, Mulligan is the term used by Magic players as a second chance to redraw a new hand if they didn’t have a mana card in their first draw. The term was actually spawned from golf by a golfer named David Mulligan. In golf, the term is used when the players are given a second chance to hit the ball on the very first tee off… and only the first tee off… it can’t be used at just anytime.

So why is the film different? It’s because so many gay coming out stories are about young guys finding out about their sexuality and how they deal with it. But Mulligans take the whole coming out tale from a different perspective… it’s a story whereby not the son comes out… but the dad. The acting was pretty okay… and the plot could have been better, but hey like I said, I like the fresh idea of the dad coming out… instead of always the son.

No nude frontal shots… some from the back… shots of some pretty hawt buns. But yea the story is provocative in its own sense. Because many people from our parents generation never had the chance to come out when they were young. And some of them even ended up getting married and having kids. So what happens when they see all these new generation of young gay people living the life they will never have? What happens when a married man realises that he cannot live a lie anymore and have to be true to his gay self? Well Mulligans explores that possibility… although in my opinion not nearly enough…





I’ll be more than happy to watch a sequel if they are gonna make one. Watch it for yourself… definitely a must watch movie if you are gay :)

Signing out.

Humorous Choices

Its been a busy week being my first week back to uni, so I sincerely apologise in failing to post anything up for the past few days. Being the first week back... there are a lot of choices to be made... decisions and choices... ahh... I just hate them, and love them at the same time. I hate it when I don't have enough choices, but also hate it when there are too many decisions to make... LoL, in short... I'm hard to please.

Anyway, talking about choices... During my last few days in Malaysia, while walking around Gardens MV with one of my friend, I snapped a few pictures from a very popular American clothes apparel store that carries the same meaning of a hole (now now guys... don't get excited over a single word, keep it in your pants). Anyway, that shop gave its customers a whole range of jeans to choose from, and I couldn't help but think some of them had some homo-connotations to them.















I guess these are the gay guys that are straight acting, the ones that may or may not be out to their friends and family, but are nonetheless straight acting. It is not to say that these people aren't at ease with their sexuality... its just that maybe they are more comfortable blending into the general public, so that their friend, families and colleagues don't feel awkward around them.















Authentic are what the out and flamboyant gay guys like to think they are. They are the ones that live by the motto 'So what if I'm gay and I wanna dress gay? I don't give a fuck what other people think'. You can say that these gays are more at ease with their sexuality and do not really care about what other people think.














These are obviously not gay, as the design states... they are straight. Unless of course they are closeted. Well at any rate if they are closeted, it would take some time for them to crawl out of it... although some of them find it very safe and comfortable inside. If and when they decide to crawl out of their comfort zone, then they may decide on a change of fashion to either Standard or Authentic.














These are the gays that are into leather, hence the leather Boot. There is a bar here down under that is very leather friendly... its customer base is huge, from twinks to real leather bears (and trust me when I say real ones). Anyway, I've spoken to some of them before, and for a lot of them... its not just a fashion, but a lifestyle... together with jackets and big bikes and stuff like that.

And finally last but not least... the worst kind of gay you can end up becoming...

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Ahahaha... how insulting right?

Cheers...

Signing out.