This Is Why...

“I met her at one of the potlucks organised by my friend in the middle of August. She was a very sweet girl and we got along really well. After about two to three weeks of knowing each other, we decided to try being together, and that was when she became my girlfriend. This is my last year in university, and I really needed to spend a lot of time studying and researching for my final year projects. She however was one of those clingy type of girlfriend, and wanted to know where I was every other hour of the day, and also wanted to meet every day for lunch or dinner. At first I thought that it was really cute that she wanted to meet me every day, and as with the dawn of every relationship, I felt I couldn’t see enough of her as well, and didn’t mind finding time in my busy schedule to meet up. But after a while, I felt she was becoming more and more demanding, and that wanting to meet every day was being unreasonable. This was more so the case when I was nearing my assignment datelines and she still insisted on meeting every day. At the point in time, I literally felt suffocated. That’s when I decided to end it after about two months into the relationship, as my studies are more important than anything. Anyway, that’s the story, and now I’m still single. Now I feel it is too soon for me to find another girlfriend as I need some more time alone to get over it first.”





...








...











Did anyone buy that? If I told my mom that do you think she’ll be off my back about not having a girlfriend?

This visit to Melbourne, every now and then my mom will try to subtly ask why I don’t have a girlfriend when all my friends have girlfriends. So maybe if I fabricated a story about falling for a girl over last semester, she’ll be satisfied? Also that would enable me to explain why I didn't do so well last semester :p I can blame that on the imaginary girlfriend as well. LoL.

Happy New Year everyone!

Signing out.

Merry Christmas 2010

Merry Christmas to everyone reading this! Sorry I haven't been updating this space for a very long time, its mainly because my parents are visiting, and I've just been very busy spending time with them :)

We recently went down to tassie, and I must say its a very beautiful island...

Anyway, its Christmas, the season of giving, so I thought I'd leave you guys with a few pictures of santa and his reindeers. I'll be updating this space more often once my parents head back to Malaysia, but for now I'll have to spend my time with them :)




Ho Ho Ho boys and gals, don't you think the first santa pic is simply delicious :P

Merry Christmas!

Signing out.

Eject The Feeling Of Rejection

Will there come a day whereby I really become desensitised from the bitter feeling of being rejected? I mean should I be looking forward to the day rejection doesn't hurt me anymore? Or should I look forward to the day I finally won't be rejected... Either way I'm certain its many more rejections before one of the two options happen.

But maybe I'm always setting up my own demise as I seek that which I should not seek. Always trying to date people out of my league isn't the way to go... is it? I guess society doesn't really approve of the below average person dating super hot people... our media certainly doesn't condone it... I mean in the movies its always pretty people pairing with pretty people... hardly pretty with ugly...
I'm always left to ponder the thought that 'if you don't try, you'll never know', that's why I always try to pick the cute guys. And my idea of cute is quite different from mainstream cute I reckon... most of my friends don't find the guys I call cute - cute... Maybe my definition of cute is a little skewed, nonetheless regardless of what 'type' of cute they are, I still get my rejections at the end of what was in my opinion a flirtatious courtship... I get the same feeling over and over again... PRS I call it, post rejection syndrome.The effect stings even more when the guy you were after replies your call by saying that he's busy with his new boyfriend and can't mee you... Ouch... Ouch... When will I start becoming numb to the feeling of rejection?

Signing out.

Officially Unemployed

After five years of hard work in uni, as of yesterday... I have officially joined the group of people classified as unemployed. Haha, yes... I have finally completed my education after all the hardships, sweats and tears.

Yesterday I graduated in sky blue and gold colours, as is the tradition of my school. It was a most heart warming event, as I was overjoyed receiving congratulatory remarks from course mates that graduated with me, and my friends that come to support and acknowledge my achievements over the past few years.

I also have to thank my parents for taking the time off to come visit me and join in my celebration of completing my university course.

All in all, I have a lot more celebration to do, but once all that is done... I have to really start thinking about what I want to do with my future. That... is... a... scary... thought...

Signing out.

Matching Of The Stars

Hey everyone, hope I don't get letters for this blog posts, but I was wondering in the straight world, stars hook up all the time when they act in the same movies...

Here is Zac Effron with Vannessa Hudgens, obviously met on the set of high school musical, and if I'm not mistaken are still romantically attached.

And here's Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, they met on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Causing Brad to split with Jen, and now they are both still happily married.

We also have Blake Lively and Penn Badgley, from the set of Gossip Girl. They met on the set, and still seem to be very lovey dovey with each other.

So, anyway, if straight celebrities met on set all the time, wouldn't it be awesome if gay people also met while working on a set together?

Here are some of the ones which I think will make the media go ape shit if they find it to be true!

Number 3 on the list we have Taylor Lautner and Robbert Pattinson, both are on the set of the Twillight saga, and have a few more movies to go. Never know, RPatz may break up with KStew and hook up with lil ol TayTay. LoL. Something to appease both team Jacob and team Edward :P

Number 2 on the list, from the hit series Glee... I'm hoping that Finn will hook with Sam, both in real life and in the show... haha!

Number 1 on the list... and somehow I've been wishing for this for a VERY long time... Harry and Draco together. Either in the stories... which is not possible now, or off set... Whoa... how awesome right? Danniel Radcliff and Tom Felton!

To all the hollywood companies out there, by no means is this a post to imply that the actors are gay or anything, its just wishful thinking on my behalf, so please dont send me any letters.

Signing out.

SexPo Visit

Had a rather interesting weekend, this is the very first weekend I had in months that really required me to do nothing at all. What I did end up doing was visiting the SexPo in Melbourne. What that is is really just a sex exhibition, where everything that has to do with sex is exhibited, haha.

Although I must say that it’s a very straight event, the merchandise most sold there was costume for women, and surprisingly dildos. The only remotely gay booth there was a bisexual booth. Although one can always interpret that any booth selling dildos are certainly catering to the gay market, right?

There were quite a few kinky booths as well, selling leather and bondage stuff. And me being the good ‘tourist’ and a first timer at a SexPo, bought a bondage bear. Its really quite cute when you look at it, I can imagine tying up my partner like that, haha it would be hot?

I also thought of buying a flesh-light, haha a pretty inventive name if you ask me. I’ve seen countless flesh light advertisements in my email box every week; I swear those advertisers are stalking me… along with penis enlargement and acai berry companies. But anyway, I didn’t buy it in the end, coz they were really quite expensive, and I was with friends, its weird to be buying one of those when you have friends with you right? Especially girls.

I mean its one thing to understand that everyone (guy) masturbates, but to explicitly state it by buying a flesh-light… a bit embarrassing la.

The funny thing about the whole SexPo was that the majority of the stuff sold there were for women, like dildos and costumes, (i.e. maids, nurses, policewomen) and not much of the stuff sold were for men.

I was thinking isn’t it easier to sell sex stuff to men? Cause a women isn’t likely to just walk up to the booth to buy a sex toy right? With that in mind, shouldn’t there have been more booths that sold toys for men? But that wasn’t the case as I mentioned.

All in all it was a fun experience, cost quite a bit to get in and I guess it was worth it, if I were straight… coz I finally got some straight porn magazines. I love them, they would be perfect to purposely-accidently leave them in my room when my parents visit, so that they would see them. That would throw them off course and convince them I’m straight… won’t it?

Signing out.

Jacob Biscuit Bites

I’ve made a trip up to the capital city again to clear up some things with the Malaysian High Commissioner. As usual there’s nothing much to do here, so I’m just wondering around the city, which the locals call civic instead of city, wasting time while waiting for my flight back to Melbourne at 6pm.



All I got from wandering around the city is that Jacob rules! And by Jacob I most certainly mean Jacob Black from the twilight series.



Did I mention I’m a total team Jacob kinda guy? I mean c’mon seriously, what’s not to like about Jacob? He’s hot, cute, hot, hunky, hot, turns into a fluffy wolf, hot, apparently has a constant warm body temperature (according to Bella), and oh yea… did I mention HAWT !!!

Notice Jacob's poster is 13 and Edward's is 12 and 14

Check it out, no more 13 but heaps of 12s... LoL

Here’s proof that folks here in the capital are pretty decent people when it comes to choosing their favourite twilight character, there was this little basket of posters on sale, and all the Jacob posters were totally sold out, but the Edward ones were still there. Ahahaha, nobody wants him. He is totally creepy if you ask me.



C’mon you team Edward peeps, admit that you’re all a closeted Jacob fan but just don’t wanna admit it. Wahaha.

Strangely I’ve always like Jacob even before the movies, I really liked his character even in the books. I wish my boyfriend could change into a fluffy wolf… that way I could take him for a walk in the park, and it wouldn’t even be remotely kinky or weird :P

Signing out.

I am SUPER -ficial

Sometimes I ask myself the question, how superficial can I be? Presented with the circumstance where I have to choose between a hot guy that’s into me, but not really intellectually compatible (either too smart or too dumb); and a fat guy that totally get me and me him, but just isn’t hot physically. Would I pick the guy based on his personality and character? Or would I pick a guy that’s hot.

There really is a bit of thinking to do when presented with that situation. I’m still young, and despite not being hot or good looking or anything… I’m still young, so that’s certainly a decent quality that is likely to score me a hot guy right? Right? (eww, hates the eerie silence whenever I ask that question) Anyway, if I were to casually date a hot guy now, and then start looking for someone with more substance (not just the white gooey stuff all men produce), when I’m a little bit older, that would be okay right? Wrong, coz that is superficial, isn’t it? Is it?

Assume I met my soul mate, which unfortunately I haven’t, and passed him up for any other generic hot guy because I keep telling myself I can still find him again when I’m older. And what if when me and (assuming la) the hot guy breaks up and I go back in search of the not so physically attractive soul mate, and he’s gone… wooped up by someone else who treasures his qualities and acknowledged it before me, overlooking his physical flaws… what then?

Okay then assume I started to date my soul mate, and we spent the rest of our lives happily married. That would mean I’d have never actually have a relationship with someone hot ever before. To be clear, I have never been in a serious relationship before. So yea, and as superficial as it sounds… I do want a hot bf… who doesn’t. But I also want someone who gets me… but let’s face the facts… those two qualities never come in a single package… hardly ever.

So assume I really find myself in such a situation, would I be making the mistake of passing up the unattractive soul mate for a hot guy? Or would I be doing the ‘logical’ thing and never satisfy my fantasy of having a hot bf? One thing for sure is that I’ll not be doing both of them at the same time, coz that would be totally against my principals… unless they are both hot and they both get me… then of course I’ll do them both, at the same time… because if they get me, they’d understand… right? Ahaha wrong… I’m just kidding as usual.

Signing out.

Shove Your Bonus Up...

I’m sure this has happened to you one way or another before, someone much older than you approaching you for sex in exchange for certain remunerations. I mean seriously, do all young guys give out a sort of pheromone that shouts we want money for sex?

I personally have nothing against older men, as I have clearly noted in earlier posts, but I do have something against men that think just because they are older and richer than me, they can have their way by throwing cash at me.

My most recent preposition of this sort came from gaydar, when a dude offered to “give me some bonuses if I were still studying to visit him at his hotel”. “I can help make college life easier”. WAT THA FUCK. At first I thought by easier he meant by me having a sexual outlet :P but no… I soon realised easier meant remunerations.

It is such a turn off, I mean seriously. Okay some people may argue that there is no harm if he gives u a little something for sleeping with him, its like a win-win, you get sex and you get “a bonus”. That may be okay for some people out there, but I just suppose its not okay with me.

I do not consider myself in that drastic a financial position that I have to put myself out there for remunerations. I guess, if you are really jobless, and homeless and totally lost in life, as some people out there are, and selling yourself is the only way to fill an empty stomach then by all means, we have to do whatever we can to survive. I totally sympathise with people like that. But I certainly am not in that position, and do not wish to be in that position.

Seriously the next time someone even suggest remunerations for any bedroom activities, I would ask him to shove it up his ass and get lost. Something I should have said to this dude on gaydar but I didn’t.

I’m poor, but not desperate.
I’m poor, but not without pride.
You’re rich, but devoid of human values.
You’re rich but lack certain principals.

Maybe when offering something in return for sex, it shows the ‘recipient’ isn’t the desperate one, but the person offering.

Signing out.

ALSO Directory

I've been cleaning up my room lately, mostly because I'm procrastinating studies for my final exam next week. But I'm also cleaning due to the fact that my parents will be staying with me when visiting next month, and I don't want them to find any gay related reading materials or pictures lying around the house. They'll be visiting because if all goes well with this semester's exams, I'll be graduating next month, so they're here to attend my graduation ceremony :)

While cleaning through the rubbish, I came across this book called the 'Also Directory', it was a directory I obtained from the Uni's Queer Department.



This book is basically a directory of all the gay and gay-friendly business establishments. It has everything from doctors, to dentists, to veterinaries and also from legal advisers, to counselling, to event organisers. So instead of a yellow pages, its like a mini pink pages.

I thought to myself, this is actually pretty cool. Its sort of a way for us gays and lesbians to stick together, for us to help out our own gay business owners. And then I thought wouldn't it be great if Malaysia had something like that as well, as I'm pretty sure there isn't such a thing back home. That way we can support our local gay business owners, ensure that our 'pink' dollars are spent at the right places to help out our own community.

But then just as this 'brilliant' idea manifested itself, reality dawned upon me that Malaysia just isn't ready for this yet. If such a directory was made back home, what it'll probably end up becoming is a hit-list for homophobic bigots. And the business owners will probably be targeted.

Its sad really, coz there are a lot of gay business owners in Malaysia, and if there really was such a directory, I'm sure it'll benefit a lot of parties, both the business owners and customers. Unfortunately, with homophobia so evidently present, it'll be hard to ensure the safety and well being of these businesses once such a list is compiled and made public. In fact I'm sure at this point in time, most owners wouldn't even want to be placed on such a 'hit-list' for fear of any homophobic reactions...

Would straight people stop shopping there? Would homophobic people vandalise the business premise? Who knows, but personally I hope all these bigotry back home will end... at least in my life time... Then maybe we can have a 'Juga' Directory, which is also translated to malay :)

Signing out.

The Final Lap

I'm finally done with all my major engineering assignments. Now, with just two more exams to go, my undergraduate life will finally come to a completion.

The two assignments I had to work on was really tough, in the end I churned out a 50 page and a 150 page assignment single-handedly. Whether it was rubbish or not I dont know, but what I do know is that even if it was rubbish, it wasn't easy to produce. I must have looked and smelled like a zombie after the whole ordeal, but I guess at least now I'm proud to say I've done it.

As I said, two more exams to go and I'll be done :) Finally!!! I've been at this for five years now, and wow, as long as I pass these two exams and the two assignments I handed in... I'll officially graduate from uni :)

My assignments and prepping for the exams are basically what's kept me away from blogging, but rest assured I'll start blogging again when all this is over.

Signing out.

InVESTments in SINGLETS

I know it’s bad to stereotype people, but I’m going to do it anyway… one thing I noticed about us gays is that we really like certain types of clothes that distinguishes us from the breeders. Two of the most obvious things I noticed are that we like to wear singlets and vests.

Okay, don’t give me that look of disbelieve, just go check out your closet, and see how many singlets you have. I looked into mine and realised that I have sooo much more than my straight housemate.



Vests are another clothing/accessory that gays seem to own sooo much more than our straight breeder counterparts. We wear them all the time, whether its with a dress shirt to a formal party or just with a normal t-shirt to a regular get-together, we love our vests. Some guys I know even wear just the vest out to party, and you know what, after thinking it over, if I had their chests and arms, I may wear ‘just’ the vest out too :P



If you don’t believe me, on this… go check out your friends’ facebook albums and count how many pictures of them are in singlets or vests. If you count carefully, I believe you’ll notice that your gay friends wear them way more than your straight friends.



So I guess what I’m trying to say is that the next time you see someone in a singlet or a vest, its safe to add another 20percent to your gaydar estimator, because the chance of him being gay is definitely higher :P

Capital Escapade

Just got back a few days ago from my trip to the Aussie Capital, and for all of you out there, its actually not Sydney or Melbourne… its Cranberry… I mean Canberra. Weird right? I always thought it was Sydney as well.

Anyway, went down to meet up with some friends and stayed with them. They are a typical rice queen/sticky rice couple. One is an Asian guy my age, and the other is this older Caucasian guy that is much older… I don’t know his actual age as I think its rude to ask, but I’m guessing around fifty? So yea it’s a daddy-boy relationship.

I spent a few days in the capitol, and then we drove down to Sydney for the weekend. We spent some time in the gay clubs, namely the Stonewall, Colombian and the Shift. Haha, twas fun.

The not fun part is travelling with my friends, the dynamics of their relationship seems very weird, coz unlike the usual rich daddy situation, this seems to be juxtaposed and is a rich boy situation… And the old guy is certainly someone that is very hard to travel with, as he easily loses his temper and throws a tantrum every now and then. He doesn’t lose his temper on me as I suppose I’m a guest, but he does so to just about everyone and everything else, inclusive of his boyfriend. His random temper bursts were very hard to travel with, I doubt I’ll ever go on another trip with them.

Most people I know grow old gracefully and become loving people, this dude certainly didn’t grow old gracefully… in fact I think in his mind he probably thinks he is still very young…



You know how the saying goes, “Men are like wine, the older they get, the better”, well fuck that, whoever coined that phrase either isn’t much of a wine drinker, or is someone that only drinks the highest qualities of wines. Because not all wine gets better when kept longer, only the best of the best are meant to be cellared for more than 10 years, all the other regular wines will probably turn in to a sour-bitter tasting vinegar solution when kept pass its use-by date.

I’m not bashing older people in this post, as I often enjoy the intellectual company of older men, maybe cause most of them were either a good Bordeaux, Burgundy or at the very least a good Aussie Barossa. This older guy I travelled with, OMG… tough person to travel with as I guess he didn’t age properly.

Anyway… he was okay-ish to me, didn’t throw his tempers and tantrums at me (although he did to everything else). Maybe coz he was hoping I’d get into bed with him and his boyfriend, AHAHAHA he wished, not in a million years. Anyway, the sightseeing and stuff were amazing as I saw some pretty stuff in both the capital and Sydney, but the company was tough…

The Aussie Capital from a birds-eye view

Two Sydney landmarks, the Opera house and the tourist ferry

These are actual pics taken of me, its just that I'm cropped out of them for personal reasons. That was my weekend, and now its back to slaving at uni.

Signing out.

Taxi Scam

On my way to the airport I got scammed by the taxi driver. He insisted that the toll charges from where I live into the airport was a whopping 12 dollars and made me pay for it. BIG mistake messing with me. Right after checking into my flight, I called the customer service to lodge my report.

The supervisor concurred with me that the cabbie most probably overcharged me and helped me lodged a preliminary report.The one flaw in hind sight is that I didn’t ask for a receipt, something I should have done. When I get back to Melbourne from my trip, I will have to call the taxi company and follow up with my complaint.

I am not reporting because if the extra 6 dollars he is charging me, but more so because he tried to scam me. I can imagine the numerous tourists he must have scammed because they were leaving the country and couldn’t all the taxi company to lodge a complain.

My only fear about the whole situation is that the cabbie, which was of a certain race I will not disclose in an attempt to appear not-racist, knows where I live as I ordered the cab from a phone. So if I lodge a follow-up report and he gets reprimanded for scamming me, he would know exactly where to find me, and may even attempt to get even with me by vandalising the place I live in.

But I guess it’s a matter of principal, so I’m going ahead and lodging my follow-up report when I get back to Melbourne. Its not fair that I take it up my ass and not complain about anything just because of fear.

Signing out.

Unknown Baggage

The modern world is a very cruel place. Sometimes it is the hostile environment that makes its inhabitants evil, and isn’t the evil inhabitants that make the environment hostile. I am currently on a flight to the capitol of Australia for a short holiday visiting friends. I brought my laptop along and all the PDF journals that I need to read, so it wouldn’t be as if I won’t get any work done on the trip. Its just that with all the stress related lab work and design work in Melbourne, this would be a great getaway for me.

I suggest that the hostile environment makes its inhabitants evil because I encountered a scenario that perfectly fits the bill when at the airport moments ago. While queuing up to board the plane, there was this old lady that started lining up two persons behind me in the queue. She was casually dressed and held a very heavy looking hand carry that didn’t have wheels. I personally think bags with wheels are the best invention for ladies that can’t carry the heavy load of their luggage.

This old lady however wasn’t using one of those bags, she was just carrying a normal hand carry. And deep inside me a full-fledged debate immediately broke out. On the one hand I wanted very badly to help her carry her luggage up the flight, because it looked too heavy for her frail figure; but on the other hand, I kept hearing the voices in my head reminding me not to ever carry luggage for strangers in airports, especially the baggage of frail looking elderly folks.



The reason for these is the countless emails and warnings I get from friends and family that says if you mindlessly carry baggage for random folks in the airport, you may end up being a drug mule without even knowing it. And when you do find out you’re carrying drugs for the stranger, it would be too late because its probably the customs that’s telling you about the drugs.

So I ended up not helping the old lady with her heavy bags, and no one else offered to help her as well, probably because of the very same reason I have. I felt very bad not helping the lady as it just wasn’t right. I mean you really don’t have to attend moral classes (yes! I’m taking a swipe at the Malaysian education system) to know you should help frail looking, helpless, people when they look like they need the help. But what happens when there are people out there exploiting this righteous feeling and go around randomly recruiting unknowing drug mules?

Its really a sad sad situation, its because of all the warnings and emails I get about not helping strangers carry stuff in airport for fear of being a drub mule that I didn’t help the old lady. Was I really being a mean person? Or is it that the current environment forces me to be mean in order to safeguard my own wellbeing? Sigh… This post was posted the moment I could get to a hotspot in Canberra...

Signing out.

Homely Rubber

Got some free rubber here the other day, in an effort to promote safe sex, gay events always gives out free condoms. I think Malaysia is catching on as well, as I recall receiving free condoms in one of the Marketplace Christmas events.

Anyway, I took a strip of red packet condoms, maybe cause the Chinese blood in me made me instinctively pick up the red ones for good luck and prosperity, Haha. Anyway, big mistake cause later on I found out that they were ‘tighter fit’ sizes. Not boasting or anything, but I look good in a slim fit shirt, not a slim fit rubber, LoL, hahaha.


What really caught my eye on the packet, apart from the ‘tighter fit’ description, was the fact that it was made in Malaysia! Woohoo, that’s one right back at the government when you think about it. The gov bans gay sex, but here we are supplying the gay population of Melbourne free rubber, “made in Malaysia”, so that they can go at it all night long. Ahaha, the irony.

I tried to take a pic of the word Made in Malaysia, but my sucky camera made it difficult.

Signing out.

Twenty-Seven Hours Straight

I’ve been so very busy with my studies lately, and that’s one of the reasons why I haven’t been blogging as much as I should. Being in the last year of uni naturally means that my work load is unbelievably huge, over the last weekend I only accumulated five hours of sleep from Friday morning to Monday morning. That’s more a less a hundred minutes sleep a day… All these loss sleep was because of a major assignment I had to hand in on Monday. Actually the five hours sleep was sort of a three hour sleep Friday night, and a two hour nap on Saturday night… I went for twenty-seven hours in a row without sleeping on Sunday night… LoL crazy yea? Yup, twenty-seven hours straight doesn’t mean I was straight for that period of time, it just meant I was awake for that long… but still gay of course :p

But it’s amazing how the human mind works, knowing that I had to hand in the report by 11am Monday morning, my brain just somehow sent a signal to my body telling it not to sleep. Had some coffee every now and then to keep me awake, but no more than my usual daily caffeine intake. I’m quite the coffee fanatic, I guess Evann knows this, as he visited me in Melby once and I brought him to one of my favourite coffee shops.

out of sync biological clock

Strangely I didn’t feel the need to sleep at all, and was quite energised and hyped up about completing the assignment. I don’t think even clubbing and sex could have kept me awake all night until 12pm the next day. But I did it, so I’m quite proud of myself for sticking all the way to the end and getting the job done. I guess it was some sort of survival instincts that caused me to just stay awake and hang in there till the end. The fucking assignment is worth about 35 percent of my final grade. God knows did I sleep after that long sleepless drought…



In the end my group churned out a hundred-and-sixty page report, and had to bind it at the paper shop before handing it in, this was to prevent random sheets of paper from falling out during the marking process. It’s one of the biggest report I’ve written in my life, the second biggest one being only ninety over pages.

Now I can probably take about a week off hardcore uni work as I collect data for my final year research work. This research is another subject independent of the huge group assignment I just handed in. I know the saying goes that there is no rest for the wicked, but hey I’m no witch and I sure do need a break, so I’m taking this week easy before going back into hardcore mode.

Signing out.

Partying With The Freaks

Last Friday I attended yet another queer event by the uni, this time it was a fundraiser party to help raise funds for the queer department in uni. I was first notified of the event through facebook, as one of the committee members sent me the invite through it. It was advertised on that event page as a fund raising event for the queer department, with a description of an entry charge and cheap booze. Twas called the 'FREAKPARTY' !

OMG my Facebook settings!

When I first received that event invite, I started being paranoid that my friends would be able to trace that event to a homosexual nature and determine my sexuality. The paranoia in me not only prevented me from RSPV-ing the invite, but also triggered me to re-evaluate my facebook privacy settings, just to ensure my friends can’t see my group and event page. Only after meticulously going through the difficult to navigate facebook privacy settings page, and being sufficiently confident that my sexuality is not in any way advertised on facebook, did I consciously consider going to the event.

One of the prevailing deterrents putting me off from going to this party is that I barely know anybody there. Sure I’ve been to a few uni queer events, but they were mainly movie screenings or talk-presentation, where you just sit through the event without much interaction. At best I know less than five of the people in the queer department well enough to call them friends, the rest are more of an acquaintance.

I’m sure you know the feeling of being at a party whereby you don’t know much people and you’re trying to fit in and make friends. More often than not the situation is unfavourable to the outsider at an event, because everyone would be in their own cliques and groups, and here you are… barely knowing anybody trying to fit in.

Nonetheless the cheap door price and “cheap booze” advertised on the party page sorta helped make up my mind to go. LoL. That, and the fact that I may meet some cute emo artsy guy motivated me to pluck up some courage and attend the event as the “lone guy” that doesn’t know anyone.

I rocked up to the event by myself that night, I do admit that I tried to recruit some friends to go along with me, but either they weren’t interested cause it was a uni/Caucasian event or they were busy. I went by public transport, luckily they were still running as it was a Friday night (late timetables), and when I reached the “venue” I was shocked.



Despite being advertised as a place with a proper name and door entry on the event page online, it was actually a house. Woohoo! A house party! I haven’t been to one of these since second year uni. I went to high school here and all the way up to second year uni I was invited to some of my high school friends’ house parties, but somehow after a while everyone just split ways and my invites to these things died down.

So anyway, it turned out that one of the queer committee members offered his house for the location of the party and that was where the party was. And when they advertised cheap booze, they weren’t kidding, the beers and wines there were going only for three dollars, and the beer was organic as well :P

Frankly speaking I wasn’t sure how they were raising funds when they were practically selling the drinks at cost… but the entry fees probably did raise some money. Maybe one day I’ll have a chat with these artsy committee members and give them some better pricing strategies to raise funds. LoL, think evil “corporate pricing” :P

Overall I had a great time at the party, met a lot of new people, although with all the booze and music I must admit I barely remember most of them. There was this one cute guy, with a floral shirt and a fancy contrasting tie. He studied the flute… haha the implications that went through my mind when he introduced himself… “oh, so you play the flute eh…?” Haha… Anyway, I regret not getting his number, cause it was earlier in the night when we talked and I did sense some reciprocal interest, but he sorta disappeared later into the night… Probably snapped up by some other flute enthusiast.



Party ended in the wee hours of the morning when the coppas finally showed up, probably coz some of the neighbours felt they were entitled to at least some sleep on a Friday night. I did have a great time that night as I had a long week before and finally had the chance to let my hair down, well the cheap booze really helped as well :) I will probably attend these parties again in the future, as I learned a lot of things from it. One thing’s for sure I learned a lot about lesbians… Haha, more coming on that in future posts.

Signing out.

Losing Grasp On A Friend

I have been very busy with work lately, and that is admittedly why I haven’t updating my blog in a long while. I guess there will be another blog post about me ranting on my projects soon, but this post is more about a situation I find myself in and am at a lost for ideas.

One of my closest girl friend, which happens to know that I am gay, recently found a new boyfriend, someone who I strongly disapprove of. We were really close in the past, with her being one of the only straight friends of mine that know I am gay. And no, if any of you were wondering, no she isn’t my fag hag, we’re just really really close friends.



The thing is that her boyfriend is one of those paranoid nutcases that deserves to be locked up in a padded asylum while wearing a straight jacket. He apparently is one of those domineering-type boyfriend that wants to spend every possible minute of the day with her. And that is just one of the many reasons why I dislike him, if i had to list them all down, we'll be here all day long.

Anyway, it turns out that now whenever she wants to meet any of her friends, me included, he has to be there. That to me is absolutely unacceptable, I mean c’mon… dude, cant you let your girlfriend meet her friends without you being there? This truly is a problem for me because I cant stand the sight of him mainly due to the fact that I just personally don’t like him as a person.

So I cant meet my friend at all lately because of this stupid situation. The irony is that we (both me and my girl friend) use to have a mutual friend that slowly cut us off because that mutual friend’s boyfriend was one of these control freaks as well. At that time the both of us felt that she shouldn’t let her boyfriend control her life like that, and we were both criticising her for getting into that predicament. Low and behold, exactly one year later, my friend finds herself in the exact same position. And you can imagine how hypocritical it is of her to say that she understands the situation and she just needs time to change him… get him to be less dominating.

Sigh…As if you can ever change a guy, I'm a guy... And I'm pretty sure you cant.


Signing out.

Queer Matrimony Talk

I went to another Queer event this week at uni, and this time it was a lunch time Queer themed discussion. I’ve got to admit I was a little late for the event, so like a misguided sheep, I stumbled into the discussion half way through as I was in a study group meeting just before. I’m not sure what the other participants were thinking when this Asian guy, who barely looks gay, waltzed in half way through the discussion… probably thought I was rude, but eh… what the hell, I don’t care.

The discussion this time was on same-sex marriage, and wow, this really was an eye opening discussion for me. I really didn’t know there were so many takes on this one issue, frankly speaking I was always under the impression that all Queers were for gay marriage… but apparently not.

Picture swiped from the Gay Times

For starters, there are gays that are totally for same-sex marriage, I for one am totally for it. I mean if the breeders have the right to a legally binding happy marriage, then I think we all deserve to have one too. I mean it’s only fair, isn’t it? By denying us the simple liberty of marrying our loved ones, the law is compromising on our rights as equal individuals, and that’s just unfair.

And then there are the what I would call rather ‘promiscuous’ gays, which really don’t care two hoots about gay marriage because they don’t see the need for one… my respond to them is they don’t need one for now… but if they don’t fight for the rights now, then when they find the ‘one’ to marry in the future, they’ll find that they do not have that option because they turned it down, by not caring.

Then apparently there are gays that are against same-sex marriagel… Their point of view sees gay marriage as homosexuals conforming to public ‘hetero’-homosexuality. Some Queers actually think that by wanting to get married, like the heteros, we’re somehow betraying the very essence that we are different from them, that we are Queer.



And some homo’s think that when some gays and lesbians want to fight for marriage rights, they’re turning their backs on their community, the Trans, the leather, the ‘man-boys’ group (no kidding, I just learned there is such a thing) and all the various other homosexuals that do not necessarily strictly fit into the gay or lesbian category. These people feel that pro-gay marriage advertisements and posters all only apply strictly to the vanilla gay or lesbian crowd, not everyone in the GLBT community, so if the gays and lesbians accept that, they are in fact betraying their very own wider community.

Well apparently for some societies, being gay means that you automatically inherit the whole GLBT society. Now… I’m not sure what I really think about this yet, guess I gotta sit on this one and decide again where I stand.

Signing out.

Queer Screening: Take One

Today I finally built up the courage to attend my very first uni’s Queer Department event. It was a fortnightly screening of a GLBT movie, and the movie aired this week was a French movie named Clara’s Summer. It’s basically a story about Clara’s (a teen lesbian) coming out when she went to summer camp.



The movie event was pretty interesting, although it clashed with another university union meeting, so most of the people that were there for the movie had to attend the meeting. As the queer officers of the previous term had to be there, and so did the queer officers running for the next term.

Well for the first part of the meeting I was actually the only Asian there, which was sort of weird, but nonetheless the people there were pretty interesting. And then about half an hour after I was there, the current queer officer came in, he was actually another Asian dude as well, which was cool, because it made me less self-conscious about being the only Asian there.

Contrary to what Evann believes, the people there were pretty friendly… Although I think there wasn’t much of an opportunity for me to mingle as a lot of people had to attend the other union meeting to support/vote for the new office candidate nominations…

Anyways, I think I will attend another of the meetings further in the future, but hurray for me acually getting the courage to attend this one in the first place. My very first Queer meeting in all the five years I’ve been in uni. Phew, that’s another tick off the list of things I need to do before graduating.

Sorry guys for the lack of updates, but I’ve been uber busy getting ready to come back to Aussie previously, then settling down again. I’m hoping to have more frequent updates in the near future. Cheerio

Signing out.

Murphy Strikes Again

Murphy’s Law strikes again, everything that can go wrong will go wrong when you least expects it to. On my very last week back in Malaysia, before flying back to Melby to complete my studies, I got hit by a whole wave of illness.

Firstly on Monday I woke up with the slightest sore throat, something I chose to ‘wisely’ ignore. Then on Tuesday, what was supposed to be a simple dental check-up and de-scaling exercise ended up with me having my wisdom tooth extracted. The day ended with me having a bloody mouth and a sore throat that was worsening.

Wednesday officially was dubbed HellDay, my sore throat got to the point where by it was as if a million needles were stabbed at me all at once whenever I swallowed anything. Any ‘swallow’ cliché jokes from any of you will not be appreciated in the least bit. Even swallowing saliva was as painful as swallowing broken pieces of glass, it was absolutely unbearable, not to mention my gum still seem to occasionally be bleeding from the huge void my wisdom tooth left behind.

Finally succumbed to seeing the doctor when my chest and neck started to flush red and I started to run a temperature. The doctor gave me a whole lot of meds and asked me to finish them. The night was pretty unbearable as well, because the heat in my neck and throat was killing me… Literally, I was HOT. Finally I slept after taking some more paracetamol, late in the night.

Wow, this was my last week, and everything was meant to be perfect. I was supposed to catch up with all my friends one last time before I go back to Melby, but all of that is now ruined. Even if I felt up to it to meet my friends, my parents wouldn’t have let me leave the house in the recovery process anyway.

Really need some TLC from a bf under these circumstances

Today on Thursday, my temperature and sore throat have started to recede, but the flushing redness is still on my neck, and is slowly developing into an itch… I wonder if its an allergy… to my meds? Or to something I came in contact with. Mostly not meds, all my life I have never been know to be allergic to them.

Anyway, there goes my last week here in KL, wasted on me recovering from a whole string of unexpected illness. Yikes, hopefully I’ve hit rock bottom and things won’t get any worse from here on.

Signing out.

Watch Your Safety

The level of safety in our beloved country is becoming more and more of a concern as everyday we hear and read of petty crimes, such as robbing and snatch thieving, being committed. The problem has become more visible of late especially so with the constant warnings and reminder of my parents.

My mom has advice me not to wear my watch when going out at night, because she said that it is highly possible that people would want to rob me of it. And she can be very convincing and descriptive when describing how robbers chop off the hands of their victims with a parang (machete) just to collect the bounty of a watch.

This worries me as I start to wonder if the level of safety in our country has deteriorated, or could it just be that my mum’s level of paranoia has increased lately. To be fair I’m not even wearing any Rolex or Patek watches, it was just a birthday present from my parents this year… is my mum worrying for nothing?

Neither is my watch this Mickey Watch, although I wish it was

Assuming its not my mum’s level or paranoia that is the problem, then it’s the safety that is a snag. Shouldn’t more effort be placed by the government and by the police force in ensuring the safety of its tax paying citizens? Should we the citizens be content to live with fear of being robbed or hurt by snatch thieves all our lives, every single day?

I guess sitting here and ranting about the safety is certainly not the solution to the problem. But so then I was wondering to myself, what exactly is the best solution to the problem? What can we do?

Our police force is always busy doing God knows what, whouldn't they need more supervision by some less corrupt body? Certainly not the Attorney Generals office, coz by golly they seem to be of the same feathers.

Apart from that, a lot of the criminals that commit these petty crimes are foreigners that come in to the country as workers but evade immigration to continue to ‘prosper’ in our country. Should the immigration department then not review its policy in easily allowing foreign workers to stay in the country?

But then the issue of foreign workers is a whole other can of worms in itself. Most Manufacturers in our country claim that foreign workers are the life and blood of the Malaysian production line, as our local people are too conceited to be a simple factory worker. This problem is probably in part stemmed by our less than convincing education system, in which produces more and more graduates each year that are not fit to join the work force as degree or diploma holders but are then over qualified to be simple factory workers as they are after all a graduate. (looks like this can be a whole post in itself)

Then finally there is the supposed conspiracy that the immigration department is allowing more and more foreign workers to enter and reside in the country, especially foreigners of a particular religion and race. This is so that politically and racially the ratio of One Malaysia is always stacked against others.

Oh well, I guess its sad that I cant even wear things I like out at night for fear of my own safety. But then again, maybe I’m just influenced by my mum’s paranoia and over exaggerating.

Signing out.