Sunday, July 4, 2010

Enforced Mannerism


I may seem a little more relaxed and gay mannered around my gay friends, which would prompt them to think that I am very out. But in actual fact, I view myself as someone that is quite very much in the closet and not ready to come out to the world yet. Frankly speaking, only a very small number of my straight friends are privileged to the information that I am gay, and I believe myself to be predominantly straight acting around the people that has no knowledge of my sexual inclination.

Hence that is why I was pretty shocked when a couple of my gay friends recently pointed out to me that I am in fact very ‘obvious’ (obviously gay) and they can definitely tell that I am gay. This comes as a shock to me because all these while I thought I was straight acting, yet now I am suddenly branded to be ‘obvious’?

A friend even went as far as to say that I am feminine… Wow, so all these while I thought I was straight acting, and all of a sudden I am supposedly acting feminine?

I guess this is a wake up call for me to rethink my mannerism and actions in public, its time for me to become more straight acting until I am comfortable enough to step out of the closet. I am at that point in my life whereby I am still dependent on my family for my education and living expenses, therefore I cannot risk them knowing and throwing me out in the streets with nothing to fend for myself.

Finally, wow feminine? Hahaha that seriously came as a blow to me… feminine? Seriously? Seriously? LoL… No offence to the femme gays out there, I luv you guys, but I frankly don’t see myself as femme…

Signing out.

6 comments:

  1. No.. watching football doesnt make you any man-ly :)

    You are who you are! LOLx.. perhaps that person went a bit too far off saying feminine but yeah, you got the idea, not feminine as in trans that kind of feminine but yea, compared u to me, u are so much off-course :)

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  2. risk them knowing and throwing me out in the streets with nothing to fend for myself...hv u read d book "Emotional Intelligence"?

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  3. It's not all depend on the manner, I think part of the reason is because of ur clothings...

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  4. LoL at Takashi...

    Will yea hopefully they dont have functioning gaydars...

    Whats Emotional Intelligence about? care to lend me the book? :p

    Yea Beyond, maybe it is my dressing... but, its not as if I dress very 'gay'. I know metrosexual straight guys that dress way better than me...

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  5. Dress sloppy, don't comb your hair and wear slippers to everywhere. Then you'll look like a true straight guy! ;p

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  6. its more of the facial expressions and how you walk and how you react to jokes and how you laugh :P my gay friends think im too straight for a plu and my str8 friends think im soft. It's an odd paradox

    but then again its okay, the fox dosent discriminate :P

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